Forward by Abbi
Below you will find my process of discovery in the form of a musing. Borrowing a little inspiration from Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs, I set forth upon structuring my own Pyramid of Wants. The Capricorn in me can often feel a bit lost in loose concepts (ie. what it is to want), but I never shy from a challenge! To realize my own Hierarchy of Want, I realized I needed a blueprint, that is what you will find here. I had to organize the steps before I could realize the rest! - that's just how my brain works. I hope that my process will inspire you too.
How would you structure your internal Hierarchy of Wants?
Our wants do not play by the same rules as our needs - they are not set nor sequential. Like a finger print, our inner Hierarchy of Wants is entirely unique and personal. This is an invitation to conceptualize your own path of want. With no universal “model,” the hope is that you will color outside every line in the process of your discovery. Enjoy - it is quite fun!
Xoxo, Abbi
Abbi’s Framework
Daily Wants: As human beings living infinitely spiritual existences in finite bodies, it is our destined nature to want. The bliss and recoil of our senses actually beg us to. Tastes on our tongues, touches of skin, sights beheld in eyes, sounds vibrating in ears, and scents carried by our nose. Our humanity is an intimate relationship to how we want to curate our senses. This is a dance we choreograph day by day and even moment to moment. What do I want to taste, see, touch, and hear? The answer to this not only queues us into where we are at right now but also, and more profoundly, to where we hope to go. It can be in the most ‘simple’ of wants where we discover our most intricate complexities.
Architectural Wants: We are the architects. Through our decisions, which are motivated by our wants, we build the physical, emotional, and spiritual patterns that comprise the foundation of our lives. What do I want my life to look like and feel like? The actions we take and the energy we use in that activation are the framework, our wants are the design.
The Wants of my Heart: Connection is everything. Even the hermit who has chosen exile feels in his heart a connection to the place that is his home. For most of us though, our hearts seek others to share space with. Friends, family, pets, plants, and lovers all dwell in this sacred space that is our love. Who and what do I want to love? The wants of my heart are my tether to this realm, to love something is to give life meaning beyond myself. It is in these heart connections that we find the grounded magic of humility. It's not all about me, it can’t be! It's about us and who we choose to love.
Perspective Wants: Perspective can be tricky and before we know it we can be lost on a wrong turn down a road we never meant to travel, but just as easily we can be found. How I see the world is how I feel the world. Is the glass empty or full? Is there a divine plan at work? Or do I find my power in the ownership of nihilism? Answers often oscillate and it is only natural for them to evolve as we do, but they are our map. When we feel lost we need to ask ourselves again - How do I want to see the world and myself? Then, start looking and you’ll find it.
What my Purpose Wants: For many this can be the hardest to visualize, verbalize, and actualize. Think of it like your BIG wants, some might call them dreams. Purpose can be confusing and even daunting, but it doesn't have to be. In this theology of wanting we believe that our purpose lives in our wants. So in that truth all of your wants, even the tiniest ones compound and blossom into what your purpose wants. If you live in the allowance of your wants and embody them daily, then the want of your purpose can’t not manifest. Its physics - growth happens, so this too will happen with your wants. This is more of a knowing than a question. Trust in the process of knowing yourself and your wants and you will find yourself speaking them, following them, and then living them. My purpose wants…
We invite you to take the time and sit with the below questions, using the above descriptions as starting points and letting your own wants guide the way.
Daily Wants: What do I want to taste, see, touch, and hear?
Architectural Wants: What do I want my life to look like and feel like?
The Wants of my Heart: Who and what do I want to love?
Perspective Wants: How do I want to see the world and myself?
My Purpose wants…
Afterword by Barbara
Abbi crafted this beautiful framework, and I had the chance to dive in and experience her process firsthand. I’ve shared my resulting pyramid below, and I truly encourage you to embrace this process as a tool for yourself too! Sitting down with her framework was nothing short of illuminating. I found myself exploring my want life in a totally new light, which helped me clarify my own personal Want Pyramid. It was the perfect Sunday morning—just me, a hot cup of tea, and a lot of reflection.
In magic,
Barbara
Barbara’s Pyramid
Embodied, Sensory Wants (What do I love to taste, see, touch, and hear?)
Lived, Experiential Wants (What does my life want to say?)
Seen, Held Wants (What does love want for me?)
Intuitive, Guided Wants (Where is my spiritual center pointing me?)
Unshakable, Lifelong Wants (Where is my inner compass pointing?)
Embodied, Sensory Wants (What do I love to taste, see, touch and hear?): I'm craving better sleep and more sustained energy throughout my day. I’m hungry for more veggies in my mornings and am eager to shift toward smaller meals—definitely avoiding those big late-night bites. I’m also really drawn to plant-based fragrances that evoke different moods and emotions, each one connecting to a distinct feeling. I’ve got this urge to wear bolder shoulder pads and oversized earrings, with just the right touch of grandma vibes woven into my style.
Lived, Experiential Wants (What does my life want to say?): My life is craving change—big, bold change. I want my expression to flow freely, like a river. Each day should feel like a new bloom in an endless wildflower garden. I want to shatter routine the moment it starts to form, always in a state of creating something new. Communication needs to flow through me effortlessly, and I want to unlock the floodgates of imagination. My life’s dream is to wake up and spark creativity in everyone around me. By design, I want to create a life of endless awe.
Seen, Held Wants (What does love want for me?): Love is asking me to release the habit of using negative circumstances as fuel for progress. It wants me to notice all the good around me, to truly feel how I’m witnessed in so many different ways by so many different souls. I want to feel held in the embrace of the divine, knowing I’m complete, whole, happy, and healthy right here and right now. I’m no longer looking to any one person to fill my love cup—instead, I’m cultivating an entire ecosystem of mutual expressions of love.
Intuitive, Guided Wants (Where is my spiritual center pointing me?): I’m ready to be visible. I realize it’s easier to stay hidden in the struggle of trying to be seen than to actually step into the light. But I choose to follow this inner guidance and let my light shine—no longer second-guessing when or where it’s "appropriate." Instead, I’m living fully in that glow, moving through the layers of doubt, shame, and fear with trust and openness.
Unshakable, Lifelong Wants (Where is my inner compass pointing?): I want to be a performer—I live to put on shows that bring out the joy in life. I want to celebrate the feeling of happiness and connection, and while music is my main medium, I know there are endless ways to do this. I’ve got a deep longing to DJ, to tour, and to make that dream a reality. More than anything, I dream of playing in stadiums, filming music videos, and introducing a new kind of gravity—creating space for an entirely new orbit.
Barbara Release Radar:
Our prototype DJ set with a full band and featured artists—is officially headed to YouTube. We’re currently swimming in the edit bay (send snacks), with our eyes on April 18. That said... we're artists. So you’ll see it when you see it. But trust me—it’s worth the wait.
This one’s got stardust in it. The kind of moment where everything clicked—the music, the magic, the room. If you were there, you already know. And if you missed it? You’re about to feel it for the first time.
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